As related by “Mad” Bill Danger over a hearty breakfast of whiskey in the Comely Octopus Bed and Breakfast’s parlour:
“This fella hired me, Smoky the tinyman, Soupy who you probably know, and a wizarding fella name a’ Jonah to steal some bat poop from some fella down in the Tuth Warrens I never heard of, and we agreed to for a big hank of coin and potions. Tuth’s right near the top of Numenhalla, really. You kin git there by goin’ through the nor’-easterly door from the main hall with the big pictures all over it. There’s some room where some fool’s stuck a bunch a bars inna the walls and e’erbody claims some gawd they call Mr. Outsides, and you just kip through the westerly passage and go left, right, left, right, or maybe it’s left, left, right, left, something or other. Soupy has the map. Mostly westerly and northerly. Anyhow, the fella’s there, name of Guzzles, nice guy, plenty of worthwhile opinions about the world, real concern for bats and such. Brews a fine brew from fungus and the bats and all that that’ll heal you up fine, I drunk some since coming back and it does me well. Di’nt even hafta steal his poop, reckoned him for a lonely fella, paid him for his poop with a patient ear to his ’pinions.
South corridor goes down and splits. There’s some toads down there that’re real dumb, not conversationalists like you and I at all. Poisonous as hell, take it from me. They live in the pond or somewheres nearby an’ they’ll et you if they think they can. The other way, going westerly, links up to those same tunnels as the westerly passage does. Some Tuth jumped us down there an’ Smoky got shivved in the face, but he lived cuz that Jonah fella patched his face up. I reckoned we could make a bit of cash hauling some of this stuff up, Tuths, bars in walls, all of that, but we slugged on to find Guzzles, cuz we ha’n’t found him yet then. We picked our poop from the Goo clan a’ bats, because there’s a bunch of kinds of bats all with their kings and such like people, and I made myself a friend with my bat Killer, and then we used Soupy’s map to git out real easy like going right, left, right, left, or whate’er the opposite of the way in was. Fella gave us each a whack of cash we come back with his poop, but I reckon a clever fella could tell him ‘bout the different bats and sell him poop from a different bunch. You head down that way and you see ol’ Guzzles, you tell him Bill Danger sez hello, an’ pick me up a thing of fungus tea.
Oh yeah, the north tunnel. Big ol’ bug-eyed bird-dog thing talks like a man an’ he’ll gab until he thinks he can get ya, but he can’t fit down the hole to et you. Me and Smoky were wise to his tricks tho’, an’ we blinded him with muh lantern so we could book it. I aim to get back there one day and reckon him right for his lying beak."